David Grows Stronger and Stronger

2 Samuel 3:1-21, Key Verse 3:1

“The war between the house of Saul and the house of David lasted a long time. David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker.”

In today’s passage we see the next steps leading to David eventually becoming king over all the tribes of Israel, most importantly that Saul’s commander Abner goes over to David’s side. However, when we examine the actions of the humans in this passage, we don’t feel that good about them; we don’t feel that many of those actions are really pure-hearted. But that’s the reality of this world. So from studying such a passage, we can learn how God’s kingdom can grow and get stronger in our time in spite of how mixed human motives and actions are. 

I. David’s house and Saul’s house (1-11)

In Chapter 2 we saw how the war between the house of David and the house of Saul began after Saul’s death. Saul’s commander Abner had placed Saul’s son Ish-Bosheth on the throne and announced him as king of all Israel, while David in Hebron was anointed king of his own tribe of Judah, setting the stage for conflict. We saw how David’s commander Joab met with Abner and his men at Gibeon. The meeting erupted into a bloody battle, and the death of Joab’s brother Asahel only made the conflict grow more bitter. 

Verse 1 tells us that this war between the house of David and the house of Saul lasted a long time. Based on Chapter 5 verse 4, it seems the war lasted basically the whole seven years that David was in Hebron. But here, the author simply says, “the war lasted a long time” to emphasize the extended suffering and pain caused by war, and to remind us that David was continuing to wait without seeing God’s promise to him come true. 

Nonetheless, in spite of this protracted period of suffering, God’s plan was moving forward. Verse 1b, our key verse, tells us about that progress. “David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker.” This statement is the major premise of this whole chapter; this chapter is going to show us specifically how the house of David gets stronger, how the house of Saul gets weaker, and we’re going to think about why this happens in view of God’s order.

First, we see one way that David’s house gets stronger. Verse 2a says, “Sons were born to David in Hebron.” David became a daddy! Though David had been married before, as we saw, it seems his life on the run prevented him from having children. But once he is a little bit settled in Hebron, they come one after the other, for a total of six sons: Amnon, Kileab, Absalom, Adonijah, Shephatiah, and Ithream. Children always have been and always will be a sign of God’s blessing. Children are the carriers of God’s hope for the future. All three of mine and Msn. Anastasia’s children were born while I was still a struggling PhD student in New Jersey and we were fairly poor. They are worth more than any worldly success we could have. 

Of course, the thing that’s not good here, which the author does not hide from us, is that these six children are from six different women. We know that David already had two wives with him, Ahinoam and Abigail, who gave him his first two sons, but suddenly here are four more women’s names! We could try to excuse David here for simply following the playbook that so many powerful men throughout history have followed, up to the present day. But in fact, David is disobeying God’s own word here. In Deuteronomy, Moses gives instructions for future kings of Israel. Among those instructions are the words of Deuteronomy 17:17: “He must not take many wives, or his heart will be led astray.” Later on, we will see how David’s approach to building a family brings so much pain and suffering to his life. 

Next we get a look into Saul’s house and how it was getting weaker. Look at verse 6. “During the war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner had been strengthening his own position in the house of Saul.” We already saw last week how Abner held a lot of power following Saul’s death, because it was Abner who put Ish-Bosheth on the throne. This verse tells us that that trend continued. However, notice what this verse doesn’t say. It doesn’t say that Abner worked to strengthen the house of Saul. What did Abner strengthen? He strengthened his own position within the house of Saul. That’s a crucial difference; it shows Abner’s efforts were ultimately self-seeking, purely for his own advantage. When leaders are self-seeking instead of working for the good of their people, it’s inevitable that the house must become weaker and weaker. 

When leaders are self-interested, they also get involved in conflicts with each other that further weaken the house. We now see a dispute that arose between Abner and the king he had put on the throne. Look at verse 7. “Now Saul had had a concubine named Rizpah daughter of Aiah. And Ish-Bosheth said to Abner, ‘Why did you sleep with my father’s concubine?’” We are not told if this accusation was true or not. If it was true, Ish-Bosheth might be well justified in rebuking Abner for dishonoring his late father in this way. Ish-Bosheth was the king, after all. 

However, Abner did not feel he needed to listen to anything like that. He just got mad and blew up. In verse 8 he says, “Am I a dog’s head—on Judah’s side? This very day I am loyal to the house of your father Saul and to his family and friends. I haven’t handed you over to David. Yet now you accuse me of an offense involving this woman!” Abner does not deny the accusation but denies Ish-Bosheth’s right to even bring up the issue. He claims the problem here is Ish-Bosheth’s lack of gratitude for the years of Abner’s loyalty to Saul and his family. What do you think? Who is right, Ish-Bosheth or Abner? It’s hard for me to see any real righteousness in Abner’s words here. Did you notice that in verse 8, while rebuking Ish-Bosheth, Abner adds, “I haven’t handed you over to David.” If Abner was truly loyal to Saul’s family, would he even bring up the possibility of handing him over to David? 

In verses 9 and 10, Abner tells Ish-Bosheth that now a line has been crossed. “May God deal with Abner, be it ever so severely, if I do not do for David what the Lord promised him on oath 10 and transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and establish David’s throne over Israel and Judah from Dan to Beersheba.” Apparently, Ish-Bosheth’s accusation was the last straw for Abner and now he is going to go over to David’s side. But to me, something smells fishy about this. I don’t believe Abner’s decision to go over to David really came from a pure motive. Isn’t it odd how Abner now suddenly remembers God’s promise to David! Why didn’t he remember it before now? Because before now, Abner thought he didn’t need it because he thought he could secure himself by putting Ish-Bosheth on the throne. But now that the war is going badly, it looks like Abner is just using Ish-Bosheth’s slight as an excuse to switch his loyalty when it’s more advantageous to him. But even if Abner’s decision came spontaneously out of his anger…is it righteous to switch loyalties just because you feel you’ve been disrespected? No, it’s very prideful and conceited.

How does Ish-Bosheth respond to Abner’s blow-up and threat? Verse 11 says, “Ish-Bosheth did not dare to say another word to Abner, because he was afraid of him.” Here we see the brokenness of the house of Saul. Ish-Bosheth was sitting on a throne but had no kingly confidence or courage. Instead, Abner the commander, who installed him, could just walk all over him. God’s order was all turned around. So we see the house of Saul getting weaker and weaker through the acts of self-seeking people.

II. Abner brings Israel over to David (12-21)

Verse 12 tells us that Abner went ahead and began to do what he told Ish-Bosheth he was going to do. He sent messengers to David to say, “Whose land is it? Make an agreement with me, and I will help you bring all Israel over to you.” Abner’s rhetorical question, “Whose land is it?” really makes us think. Is it Saul’s land? Is it David’s land? No, it is God’s land, and so it’s not to be used by a king for his own glory, but shepherded so that the people can become a kingdom of priests (Ex 20:6). 

Anyway, what good news for David! David didn’t necessarily know what was going on with Abner and Ish-Bosheth, but he can now see that while he has been waiting, God has been working. David is happy and says he will make an agreement with Abner. But he doesn’t unconditionally accept; David has one concession that he demands at the beginning. Look at verses 13b-14. “‘But I demand one thing of you: Do not come into my presence unless you bring Michal daughter of Saul when you come to see me.’ 14 Then David sent messengers to Ish-Bosheth son of Saul, demanding, ‘Give me my wife Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for the price of a hundred Philistine foreskins.’” It’s a personal request for David to get his first wife back, Michal the daughter of Saul. If you remember from 1 Samuel, when Saul saw that his daughter Michal was in love with David, he offered her to David at this price of 100 Philistine foreskins, as a way to get David killed. But David succeeded in this dangerous mission and married Michal. Later, when Saul sent men to kill David in his bed, Michal helped David escape. But after that, Saul took Michal and gave her to another man. 

Now that David is in a position of negotiating with the house of Saul, he wants Michal back, saying his claim on her is the dangerous bride-price he paid. What do you think about David here? Legally, David is in the right, because his wife was taken away from him unlawfully; they did not divorce. But there is the fact that Michal is now living with another man and, to get her back, David has to take her away from him. Someone might well argue that David has plenty of wives now and so it’s more compassionate to leave Michal where she is. For us Christians as well, sometimes it’s better for us not to claim our full rights, even if we are in the right; we often can show Jesus’ character more when we give up our rights for the sake of another. 

Nonetheless, David made this demand and it was fulfilled for him. Interestingly, verse 15 says it was Ish-Bosheth himself who gave the orders to have Michal sent back to David. As we’ve seen, he was not a particularly courageous sort, and he probably wanted to make peace with David just to stay alive, so he didn’t oppose David’s request but sent his sister to him. Hopefully Michal wanted to go, but it never mentions what Michal wanted. Michael’s current husband Paltiel, however, was very sad to see her go, and in a heartbreaking display of devotion, he followed behind her weeping all the way until Abner commanded him to go back. It shows us there is always a human cost to powerful men’s moves.

When Abner received a positive response from David, he went to the elders of Israel and got the ball rolling. He said to them, “For some time you have wanted to make David your king. ¹⁸ Now do it!” It was very significant that the most powerful person from Saul’s officials was giving the elders of Israel the OK to rally behind David. Abner even reminded the elders of the word of God, saying, “For the Lord promised David, ‘By my servant David I will rescue my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines and from the hand of all their enemies.’” (18b) The hardest people for Abner to convince must have been his own people, the Benjamites. But verse 19 says Abner also spoke to them in person to get their support for David.

At this point we might feel ashamed of all the bad things we said about Abner earlier. We did see clearly that Abner’s motive for switching loyalties was self-interest. Even so, what he is doing now is clearly God’s work. Apostle Paul, writing hundreds of years later, tells us about such kind of people, people who do the right thing, even the gospel ministry itself, out of a wrong motive. Philippians 1:15-17a says: “It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. ¹⁶ The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ¹⁷ The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely…” 

What was Paul’s conclusion about people who preach Christ out of selfish ambition? Did he say we should stop them? No! In Philippians 1:18 he said, “But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.” In this world there will always be people who do the right thing from a wrong motive, and often we have to work with those people. And who knows? It’s possible that, as a result of Abner’s sharing God’s prophecy with God’s people over and over, his own heart was changed and he started to really believe. The final state of Abner’s heart is ultimately between him and God. As for us, we are commanded to do God’s work from a pure motive. Philippians 2:3-4 say, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” 

After finishing his mission journey to promote David’s ascension to the throne, Abner makes a personal visit to David in Hebron with twenty of his men. How did David receive the former enemy commander who was now helping him become king? Verse 20 says, “David prepared a feast for him and his men.” David, showing no lingering ill will against Abner, welcomed him with great honor. This was the same wisdom that David displayed in the last chapter when he sent messengers to the men of Jabesh Gilead to honor them for recovering Saul’s body. Abner’s heart was so moved by David’s hospitality that he had no more reservations about helping David and said in verse 21, “Let me go at once and assemble all Israel for my lord the king, so that they may make a covenant with you, and that you may rule over all that your heart desires.” Then David sent Abner away in peace. Here we see how David’s generous spirit that didn’t harbor grudges could be used by God to unify all the tribes of Israel as one people under God. 

In today’s passage, we saw the events that led to the house of Saul getting weaker and weaker, and the house of David getting stronger and stronger. In today’s world as well, we always see people who get stronger and people who get weaker, falling into various kinds of trouble and sin. How can our house get stronger instead of weaker? The most important thing about a house is the foundation it is built on. David’s house was ultimately built on the word of God. Jesus told us how to make our house strong: “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵ The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.” Today we saw that one of those Biblical principles to practice is to serve out of a pure heart, honoring others. Also, we are called not just to build up our own house or our biological family, but God’s house, the church made up of all Jesus’ living stones. That is our true house, our big house, our Father’s house, and we want to do our part to help it get stronger. May God bless you to get stronger and stronger on the rock of Jesus.